The CEO’s playable adult son, Scooter (or DJ Jockitch), is an insufferable send-up of “kids these days,” and the CEO is too cynical a parody of X-treme Capitalism. Instead, most of my enjoyment came from stealing a car and torching everything in sight with a flamethrower. As much as I applaud the ambition of the property ownership systems in Shakedown: Hawaii, the best way to play is to ignore much of that and treat it as straight-up mindless arcade action. Perhaps the shakedown missions were meant to be the meat of the game, sprinkled throughout the city like Hyrulian shrines, but they were far too easy and accessible from the start. Thankfully, when I had reached my absolute limit of cutscenes, the story abruptly ends. Only a few missions, starring a mysterious Spanish speaker taking over cartel businesses for the company, offer much action or challenge. While speeding through town and plowing through almost anything is a blast, that feels more like a leftover than a core mechanic. Most often, the CEO just drives from business to business to undo or react to some business mistake he made in a previous cutscene. I quickly amassed enough cash to clear any upcoming story hurdles hundreds of times over. I spent enough time on upgrades to memorize the button presses and maxed everything on autopilot. The uncooperative menu fought me after each purchase. After a short bathroom break, I returned with enough money to buy almost the entire island. This is Shakedown: Hawaii’s unfinished focus. Players can spend this money to buy businesses or exploitative marketing multipliers, like targeted ads and convenience fees. The company makes a daily profit every few in-game minutes. I'd shaken down the entire island within two hours.
Each store has its own requirements, like scaring off customers or destroying inventory. These missions see him travel across the Hawaiian island to shakedown small businesses through mob-style terrorism. The CEO rises from his recliner to intimidate his competition into corporate takeovers. The player controls a grumpy CEO and author of “My Company Runs Itself: I'm at the Beach” with his company at the brink of bankruptcy.
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